Colorful Characters; a reflection of my life so far

A few days ago my brother sent me a picture of him holding the Oscar that Orson Welles recieved in 1974. My sister-in-law works for his daughter and as my brother is in the film industry she was a darling and loaned it to him to brag to his little sister :) So this got my mom thinking and she did some research on Orson Welles and we found him to be such a colorful character (even more than you'd think). I was lementing the fact that I am such a boring person, how I would love to have some grand adventures, or interesting (true) stories to tell. So mom told me that if I put my life on paper, I would probably sound pretty interesting too. Then remembering my beloved grandmothers memorial service and how after listening to the blurb on her life we all thought "Wow! What an incredible woman! I wish I had known her!" That of course sounds silly as we were all very close, but just goes to show, looking at your life on paper can bring up some interesting things. But I live such a quiet life just a single mother going to school trying to make a better life for my children and myself. But here is my atempt at writing down my life....

I have snorkled, surfed, walked up a volcano, and done the hula while living in Hawaii. I have worked on movies and in the theater (back stage! I'm too scared of the camera) and have as a result gained some wonderful friendships with some very talented people. I have been to barber school and seriously rock with a straight razor, and kick serious butt with color! I have managed a porn store, and thus met some very nice (and not so nice) porn stars. I have been a photographer making $4-5K a month. I have worked as a maid making $5. an hour. I have lived my crazy, teenage, Disney-fueled fantasy of meeting someone, falling in "love" and eloping (all with in a 2 week period) and then of course the enevitable divorce because I married someone I only knew for 2 weeks. I have gone from losing nearly everything I owned, my home, my car, my furniture, to outright owning my own home, and car, and furniture. I have given birth to two incredible little girls. I have given them my heart, my praise, my encouragement and my protection. I became an aunt at the age of 11 and am now about to become a great-aunt as my dear nephew will be a father in June. I have experienced the magic of Disneyland through the eyes of my children. I have beamed with pride while watching my daughter sing and dance on stage. I have cried with her at the death of a dearly loved pet. I have had the death of my father when I was 17, a life-threatening medical condition, a disasterous abusive marriage, an ugly custody battle, a devastating broken engagement, the death of my beloved grandmother when I was pregnant, and I lived through it all. I survived, and am stronger for it. I have met William Shatner and let me tell you being the HUGE Trekkie that I am that was a dream come true!! I have learned how to sword fight. I have learned how to dance, I have learned how to golf, and I have learned how to cook. I am slowly becoming fluent in ASL. All of these things have made me who I am today.

I don't know if I feel any more colorful or interesting now...just relfective on the life I have lead so far...

Crossroads

I am currently pursing my degree in programming. But now I am having second thoughts. I have completely fallen in love with ASL it is such a passion. I really really would like to be a deaf interpreter. I still love programming and computers but I don't have the passion. However, chosing interpreter as my career will basically kill me dream of moving to Scotland. They of course use Brittish Sign Language which is COMPLETELY different that American Sign Language. So when I have to chance to move out there my schooling and work experience will be useless. I would have to start all over, which wont get me citizenship. So do I go with my passion and try for a career I will love? Or do I stay on my current path and follow my dream? Obviously I want to figure out how to make them both work. Any ideas? Advise? Reality check?

Back to "real life"

Last week was spring break! Thankfully Jayde and I had break the same week. On 2 of my days to have her mom was awesomely brave and took both girls on the two hour trip up to my brothers house to visit their cousins. They had a blast and there was minimal drama (thankfully for mom). Due to moms generosity I was ably to have 2 whole days all to myself! WOW! How long has that been.....lets just say it has been years. It was fabulous!! I got to read in the bath tub, sleep in, paint the girls bathroom and repaint my living room, watch some of my favorite shows and take a nap on the couch in the sun. But of course while I so enjoyed my me time I also missed my kids terribly, so I was glad when they came home to me. I got to hear their stories of the fun they had.

I enjoyed break but am glad to get back to school today. I love my ASL class so much. I am anxious to be able to put this skill to use. Lilly is really getting good with her signing. I love having this special way for my girls and I to communicate.

I love being in school and learning new things, but I can't wait to get my degree so I can start working.

The Dream

I do not call my dream the "American" dream because of course my dream is to leave America.  I will get through school if it kills me lol, working all the way up to my Masters.  Possibly own my own business (that one I am not completely sure if I do want) and of course my ultimate goal moving to Scotland!  Finding a beautiful home and settle my family in.  To be immersed in my heritage and this wonderful new world.

Some days that dream feels a million miles away, as opposed to the actual time line.  There have been so many obstacles in my life and I have overcome every one of those.  I can overcome the ones presented in my life now.  My current obstacle is school/work.  I really need to go back to work.  But work, school and my girls?  I can't let my girls suffer because of work and school.  As hard as I try to me I'm not Wonder Woman.

So I'm starting to work out the best time management for school, as well as searching for a part-time well paying job.  Both my house and my car are paid for so I only have utilities, insurance, things for the kids, stuff like that. I will switch to part-times school and probably have to pay for it myself. 

Very slowly bit by bit and piece by piece I will make that dream a reality.  I get a wee bit discouraged at times because it is slow going, but I try to remind myself every class I attend every test I take every paper I write is taking me one step closer to my dream.  And yes sometimes it's two steps forward one step back but it is still progress.  It will get me to my beloved Scotland. 

For now I will put in my favorite Tartanic cd and listen to my bagpipes and drums and appreciate this journey I am on.

fun!!

What a fun day!!  Lillith and I got all dressed up in our garb, her daddy wore his kilt and we went to Ren Faire, got some fun new stuff, took lots of pics, ate great food, saw amazing shows.  And the highlight of the day was Lillith dancing on stage with Tartanic! How incredible to have my daughter dance on stage with my fav band!  We got some beautiful metal scented roses.  Oh and daddy got Lil a marshmallow catapult!  It was such fun.  I am such a kid at heart I will always love dressing up and being silly flinging marshmallows at each other and screaming like a teenybopper at gorgeous men in kilts playing bagpipes and drums!!