confessions of a grown-up drama queen

Today is one of those days I just want to wallow in self-pity!!  I am supposed to go down to the courthouse today to file a paper asking the judge to make a decision on my custody of my 7year old and papers asking what it is I want.  WELL when I filed originally, the woman was supposed to give me my judges name THAT DAY so I could submit the papers stating what I was asking for then today only filing the paper asking him/her to make a judgment.  So it is all messed up.  I feel so utterly hopeless at this very second, and I'm sure most of it has to do with the insane stress this custody battle has put on me plus the fact I am still super sick.  I want so desperately to climb into bed, pull the covers over my head and cry, and hate the world for wronging me.  However I of course can not do that.  I must buck up, get out of my jammies, brush my hair and head down to the courthouse, sick baby in tow, on our way to her Dr. appt.  See what it is I need to do to fix it, then take my darling wee girl to the Dr. and hope they can give her some antibiotics or something to help her feel better and get rid of the evil cough!!

This is NOT right!!

Race should NOT in any way determine a persons ability to be a good parent. It is completely 100% wrong that my daughter can be taken from me simply because I am white and give full custody to her father. Tribal laws are wrong. In fact I teach my daughter more about her tribe and heritage than her father does. He only claims his heritage when it is to his benefit, otherwise he will go on and on and on about his Irish heritage. Thankfully for the tribe to get involved in our custody he would have to move to the rez and according to our divorce papers he can't leave the Phoenix metro area so I think I am safe. If only I had known that when we got divorced and got our original custody agreement. I wouldn't have let him bully me into giving up so much time with her in fear of losing her completely.